So you would think some of my stress would have disappeared....wrong getting accepted just added about 100% more stressed.
The requirements to accept their acceptance into the program is way more complicated than they said in the meeting. All of a sudden all of these mandatory requirements and fees are in this acceptance letter and I have until July 20th for some of them and August 10th for others. For example I have to pay them to accept their offer. WTF I paid to reapply to the university..I paid to take the test to get into the program...I paid to apply to the program and now I have to fucking pay another $50 to accept their offer.
Then in the meeting they said they suggest nursing students have health insurance since they are working in a hospital setting...but then the letter comes and it's a requirement. I don't have insurance and I have to quit my job to do this program so how am I suppose to afford health insurance. Tom awhile ago was going to put me on his insurance but it is so fucking expensive for him and on top of that he can't do it til November and I have to have insurance by the time school starts. This would have been good to know in fucking May when I went to the meeting.
Next you have to be pre-certified for professional CPR which I understand why but again they didn't say anything about it in the meeting but BAM there it is in the acceptance packet and the price for that is $60 and I have to have that done by the August 10th. If they had told me in May I could have spaced all this money sucking requirements out so they weren't so stressful and they didn't take up so much of my money at once.
Next they require a drug test..again I understand why but the place they listed is $40 dollars for the test. I mean come on $50 to accept, $60 for the cpr classes, $40 for the drug test...that's $150 more right there and that's not including.........
The uniform and equipment required...I have to spend a small fortune for these things and that's before books. I knew that one so it wasn't shocking my problem is they don't tell you the materials you need, they just give you this order form from a website they use with medical supplies but they don't tell you what you will and wont need. Plus they said they require a specific type of stethoscope but don't tell you which one.
Then there are the books I'll need which are soooo fucking expensive *sigh*
On top of all that I have to get my license by September and that stresses me out. Even thinking about taking the road test makes me start to panic. Why cant I just get a license without the road test lol. I can drive, driving in its own right isn't horrible and I'm a good driver according to those I have driven with...it's the test that freaks me out.
Then the one thing I was looking forward to has now become something that just seems like it is going to be even more stress. I was looking forward to going to Kentucky because I loved it last year it's so beautiful and its a great place to relax. It would have been an excellent vacation before the stress of nursing school for 2 years straight with no vacations. But then I find out Tom's Aunt Judy wants to stay with us..she's 70 and bossy as all hell and I just don't feel comfortable with her around. So I'm going to feel awkward the whole time we are in the cabin if she does stay with us. Tom doesn't want her to stay with us but his solution to this is to pack our cabin so she can't stay with us...which fucking suck. Because that means there will be 3-4 people in our room alone. I don't sleep well when people are in a room with me...hell it took me forever to get used to sleeping with Tom in a room with me. Then if one of these people snores or talks in their sleep or moves around a lot and makes a lot of noise I'm fucking screwed because I'm a light sleeper especially when I'm seeping in a room with different people. Tom is all "the more people we have the less it will cost" and believe me with my money issues right now I more than understand that, but I also don't want my vacation to be a stressful, sleepless experience especially since it's the last time I get to go til I'm done with nursing school. Last year there were four people total in our cabin 2 in each room and it did NOT cost that much so I don't see what the big deal is. He just needs to tell his Aunt Judy no. I mean our cabin is the younger generation cabin all of us are in our late 20's early 30's we stay up later and we drink. We don't want to have to walk around on eggshells and cater to an older person who is high maintenance.
But even with or without his Aunt Judy we will more than likely have 3-4 people in our room because Tom wants it that way. It will more than likely be his brother Mike and if Mike brings his friend Teresa it will be Teresa too. Which will be awkward on top of being inconvenient in terms of getting some sleep.
I just don't want to share our room, we are a couple and if someone is in our room with us I just don't feel we can be ourselves and coupley (and no I don't mean just sex wise) I mean we usually talk in bed before we go to sleep and we are very coupley before bed with cuddles and kissing and I just feel like we won't be able to do that with someone else in the room with us and that sucks because vacations are supposed to be enjoyable.
Tom just doesn't see it from my point of view because he's never gone to this reunion/vacation with anyone before me so he had always gone as a individual, so if there are other people in his room he doesn't care...especially since they are his family... of course you're comfortable they're your family. I like them and generally get along with them but I'm not comfortable enough to sleep in rooms with them..I'm just a private person I don't like to share my personal space and when I'm on a vacation usually my room is at least my space. And on this vacation of all vacations where I am around Toms entire family the whole time my room at night with Tom is the one place I get to be completely relaxed and myself. Not that I'm not myself around his family I'm just a slightly quieter, less goofy version of me. Because this is his WHOLE I'm normal around his mom and dad but with the rest of them it's intimidating... there are a ton of them and they are sooo fucking loud and boisterous and that's just not what I'm used to so I enjoy the break every night in our room and this year I won't get that.
I'm just sooooo fucking stressed out I can't even sleep much anymore because I'll fall asleep and then I wake up shortly after stressing about everything and then I can't fall back asleep. I wish i could just stop time and have a couple days where I can just relax and not have to go to work or think about any of this.
Sorry this journal has become such a downer it is really the only place I have to turn to because most (most not all if I have seen you in the last 2 weeks you are NOT included in this statement so don't freak out ) of my friends in real life are pretty busy and a lot of them don't really make time for me and talking to Tom is pointless because he just tells me not to stress out because there is no reason, he has money and we will figure everything else out, but that is not helpful so I just try and hide it and let myself freak out internally. So this is my outlet, after I make a post I can usually relax for a couple hours.